normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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