i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
