Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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