my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
