eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
