You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
