Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
