I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
