Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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