She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize