what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
