don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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