nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize