she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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