sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You are a genius and a whore.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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