I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
