i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
try to milk me bitch
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
