at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
