As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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