so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
is that a dick in a sweater?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
