I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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