This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
