do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
