If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
