Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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