i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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