I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
