someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
