lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize