Its about making memories worth repressing
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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