ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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