C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Randomize
