scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We have so much sex to catch up on
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
