porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
