Your mouth is God's brothel.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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