I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
