Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I understand Curling. That high.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
