im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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