My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize