I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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