Got a toothbrush?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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