how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
