my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I wish I could punch you in the face.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
