No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
