so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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