i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I am one with the molecules
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
