Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
