that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
