y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
