Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
