So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
