Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize