Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
