im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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