I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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