I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
