standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
false alarm, still single
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