grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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