2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
