i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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