doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
jump out the window naked night went bad
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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