i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
