Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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