He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
