Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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