I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
