I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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