I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
