Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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