would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
