a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
