Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
