dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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