I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize