problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
