ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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