I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
